Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
