i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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