I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
