What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
