i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
