he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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