dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
