Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she woke up with a sticky ear
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
