I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
