I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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