i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
