can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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