Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
