I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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