Can i not drive my cunt home
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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