I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
