I hate your face
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Vodka?
Forever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
