I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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