He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think I sprained my soul last night
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize