How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
