I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
a search helicopter?!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
