My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize