hell yes lets make some ravioli
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
