Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
