that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize