We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize