wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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