I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
