I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
