on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
