You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
