I want to make a zoo with you.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
