Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
