The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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