For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
