May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
