everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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