Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
