were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
