we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize