It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i've created a new STD.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
