Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Randomize
