Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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