saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize