I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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