I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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