Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
