Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
