my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
