lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
