We won't sleep together?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
