there's paper in my vomit.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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