I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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