its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
