census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
