so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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